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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?